So I was at a party yesterday, and it got me thinking about living free of allergens and intolerances. First off, I had to volunteer to bring a main course when everyone was asked to bring side dishes, because I couldn't eat any of the main courses. Frittatas full of lactose and depressed eggs, and a ham -- I can't eat those things.
I know, you say, can't you take a lactose pill? Aren't depressed eggs just a choice that you make to not eat? No, I can't just take a lactose pill for something like a frittata, and I have actually come to hate some types of cheese such as feta because I associate the taste with the feeling of cramps that they gave me while I was figuring out that I was lactose intolerant. And the depressed eggs thing versus the happy eggs is not a moral choice. I noticed after years of never knowing why my hands were always covered in rashes that the rashes came from depressed eggs.
Did I ever get rashes when cooking with Mark? No, because everything Mark eats is safe for me too, minus the lactose. But once we started eating happy eggs at my house because we liked the taste better, I noticed that restaurant foods like fried rice and pad thai gave me the rashes that I barely got anymore. And so I figured out, I can't eat regular old eggs; something about the chickens and the antibiotics and the pesticides; I can only eat the organic and free-ranging eggs.
Usually I feel lucky when it comes to food! Mark can't eat any eggs at all; I can eat organic and free-ranging eggs that are better for the world, ethics, and my carbon footprint anyway! I feel like I was given a blessing: you can eat eggs when others cannot. I have egg-privilege, peanut butter-privilege.
Next we come to the ham. Now, if you've been keeping up with That Egg Free Life, you know that Mark and Ben and myself eat quite a bit of bacon. Bacon is something even my grandmother would break kosher for! I have even known semi-vegetarians to eat and cook with bacon, though of course not strict vegetarians. But a ham looks like a side of pig to me. And I just can't justify eating something that literally resembles a pig. I have a hard enough time justifying the spare ribs at the Chinese restaurant because they have the bones, so one can imagine them being part of an animal. But a ham?!!! There was no way I was eating a piece of a ham.
So like Mark, I made my main dish, and I brought it to the party to share with everyone.
Then the host of the party said, "Alison made lactose-free pizza." And my heart sunk.
Because no one knows what lactose-free food is any more than anyone knows what egg-free food is, and no one knows that it's actually good. In terms of both lactose and egg-free, there are a lot of gross vegan things out there to be sure, but I try not to actually make any of them!! I felt about two feet tall, and I felt like I imagine Mark feels often with strangers.
I wanted to protest, don't call it lactose-free, a description of what is not in it. Call it three cheese pizza. I used three cheeses - parmesan, cheddar, and romano. The parmesan is the expensive kind from Trader Joe's that has been aged 20 months. The cheddar is imported from New Zealand. The pecorino romando is the fancy kind from the case at Stop and Shop. I grated all three by hand. I made the tomato sauce from scratch. Protesting is what Mark would have done. Mark would have explained how much work was put into it, how high-quality the ingredients were. But I did not know what to do, because I am not a teenage boy, and I believe in etiquette.
Thankfully, someone asked what lactose-free cheese is, so I explained that it is hard cheese that is aged for at least 6 months. The lactose ages out.
I'm not sure how many people tried the pizza, but there was a lot of it gone by the end of the party.
This blog is called That Egg Free Life because the cooking that Mark and I do is defined by being free of eggs. We are free of eggs because we have found freedom to eat without being afraid of contamination, without being afraid of going into anaphylactic shock. We have found freedom from fear and cross-contamination. But our food does not taste egg-free. If you miss the eggs in a recipe, then you know the recipe is flawed. The recipes in this blog do not make you miss the eggs.
Mark cannot miss the eggs because he has never had eggs. But I do harbor a love for eggs, and I can say in all seriousness that I love the food I cook with Mark and Ben. It's soul-satisfying food. It is what is literally keeping Mark alive. It's delicious. It's fun to make. And I couldn't ask for better cooking companions than Mark and Ben! The fun we have together in the kitchen and watching food shows like Worst Cooks in America -- I wouldn't trade that for anything.
With Mark and Ben, the three of us learned how to love food and cooking with freedom from eggs and other allergens. And somewhere in there, somewhere deep within That Egg Free Life, I found myself.
I found Alison, and I do not need any eggs or nuts or even coconut and raw fruit to be Alison.
Thank you, Mark, Ben, and Arlene.
I know, you say, can't you take a lactose pill? Aren't depressed eggs just a choice that you make to not eat? No, I can't just take a lactose pill for something like a frittata, and I have actually come to hate some types of cheese such as feta because I associate the taste with the feeling of cramps that they gave me while I was figuring out that I was lactose intolerant. And the depressed eggs thing versus the happy eggs is not a moral choice. I noticed after years of never knowing why my hands were always covered in rashes that the rashes came from depressed eggs.
Did I ever get rashes when cooking with Mark? No, because everything Mark eats is safe for me too, minus the lactose. But once we started eating happy eggs at my house because we liked the taste better, I noticed that restaurant foods like fried rice and pad thai gave me the rashes that I barely got anymore. And so I figured out, I can't eat regular old eggs; something about the chickens and the antibiotics and the pesticides; I can only eat the organic and free-ranging eggs.
Usually I feel lucky when it comes to food! Mark can't eat any eggs at all; I can eat organic and free-ranging eggs that are better for the world, ethics, and my carbon footprint anyway! I feel like I was given a blessing: you can eat eggs when others cannot. I have egg-privilege, peanut butter-privilege.
Next we come to the ham. Now, if you've been keeping up with That Egg Free Life, you know that Mark and Ben and myself eat quite a bit of bacon. Bacon is something even my grandmother would break kosher for! I have even known semi-vegetarians to eat and cook with bacon, though of course not strict vegetarians. But a ham looks like a side of pig to me. And I just can't justify eating something that literally resembles a pig. I have a hard enough time justifying the spare ribs at the Chinese restaurant because they have the bones, so one can imagine them being part of an animal. But a ham?!!! There was no way I was eating a piece of a ham.
So like Mark, I made my main dish, and I brought it to the party to share with everyone.
Then the host of the party said, "Alison made lactose-free pizza." And my heart sunk.
Because no one knows what lactose-free food is any more than anyone knows what egg-free food is, and no one knows that it's actually good. In terms of both lactose and egg-free, there are a lot of gross vegan things out there to be sure, but I try not to actually make any of them!! I felt about two feet tall, and I felt like I imagine Mark feels often with strangers.
I wanted to protest, don't call it lactose-free, a description of what is not in it. Call it three cheese pizza. I used three cheeses - parmesan, cheddar, and romano. The parmesan is the expensive kind from Trader Joe's that has been aged 20 months. The cheddar is imported from New Zealand. The pecorino romando is the fancy kind from the case at Stop and Shop. I grated all three by hand. I made the tomato sauce from scratch. Protesting is what Mark would have done. Mark would have explained how much work was put into it, how high-quality the ingredients were. But I did not know what to do, because I am not a teenage boy, and I believe in etiquette.
Thankfully, someone asked what lactose-free cheese is, so I explained that it is hard cheese that is aged for at least 6 months. The lactose ages out.
I'm not sure how many people tried the pizza, but there was a lot of it gone by the end of the party.
This blog is called That Egg Free Life because the cooking that Mark and I do is defined by being free of eggs. We are free of eggs because we have found freedom to eat without being afraid of contamination, without being afraid of going into anaphylactic shock. We have found freedom from fear and cross-contamination. But our food does not taste egg-free. If you miss the eggs in a recipe, then you know the recipe is flawed. The recipes in this blog do not make you miss the eggs.
Mark cannot miss the eggs because he has never had eggs. But I do harbor a love for eggs, and I can say in all seriousness that I love the food I cook with Mark and Ben. It's soul-satisfying food. It is what is literally keeping Mark alive. It's delicious. It's fun to make. And I couldn't ask for better cooking companions than Mark and Ben! The fun we have together in the kitchen and watching food shows like Worst Cooks in America -- I wouldn't trade that for anything.
With Mark and Ben, the three of us learned how to love food and cooking with freedom from eggs and other allergens. And somewhere in there, somewhere deep within That Egg Free Life, I found myself.
I found Alison, and I do not need any eggs or nuts or even coconut and raw fruit to be Alison.
Thank you, Mark, Ben, and Arlene.